In actual fact the meaning of domestic violence as become entangled in family violence and numerous definitions confuse even traditional recognition of domestic violence. For this reason i wrote my first paper in conjunction with my PhD (still in progress) on the definitional dilemma, anyone interested can read the paper here: http://eprints.hud.ac.uk/11786/2/GavinInterpretations.pdf my conclusions led me to define Intimate Partner Abuse (IPA) under the umbrella term of domestic violence as a means of describing the phenomena i intend to research, although i admit being slightly ignorant in my reference to 'men and women' and in future papers this is changed to 'any individual' to be all inclusive and incorporate transgender populations.
Narrowing the definition enables us to identify with other victims of domestic violence outside of the gendered phenomenon that receives the most attention. that is to say, we can recognise that domestic violence or IPA occur across all relationship types regardless of sexual or gender identity. however, it is not enough to recognise that couples of all orientations can experience IPA, then apply the same theoretical models and interventions to diverse populations. we need to develop new theories and new interventions, raise awareness within communities and the wider society, and get recognition in policy, practise and research.
many people view domestic violence as physical assault placing emphasis on the term 'violence'. however, domestic violence [IPA] is much more complex than this, as anyone who has experienced it will testify. The use of sexual, psychological, emotional, verbal, financial/economic abuse of one partner against the other can have just as much detrimental effect as physical assault/threat, if not more so. another myth is that domestic violence only occurs in married couples, in actuality it occurs across all age groups whether dating, married or cohabitating.
so if you or someone you know is miserable all the time because they feel unhappy/inadequate in their relationship, it could be that they are experiencing IPA. often this is unintentional and the abusive partner doesn't even realise the impact their behaviour is having on their loved one, on these occasions it is likely that recognition of IPA would encourage change to resolve the problematic relationship. however, on other occasions the IPA is deliberate, a means of control, motivate by numerous inadequacies, real or imagined in the abuser. in these instances victims need supportive interventions that cater to their needs. which brings us back to the lack of recognition of domestic violence in non-traditional relationships, experienced by people other than 'women'.
before anyone thinks, i have no idea what I'm talking about, i actually fit into the centre of bell shaped curve of the traditionally recognised survivor of domestic violence, [an heterosexual white women]. I experienced physical violence, emotional and psychological control and abuse, stalking, and had my dog killed by my ex-partner 'because i love the dog more than him' but i do not think that i am alone, or that i belong to an elite club of female victims. as well as having several female friends experiencing domestic violence in the traditional sense, I have male friends who have experienced abuse from their female partners, and I have LGB friends who have either experienced abusive relationships themselves or know someone who has. on top of this a research out in 2010 identified the prevalence of intimate partner abuse in transgender relationships. just to put a this into context UK home office results 2006 showed that 1 in 4 heterosexual women; 1 in 4 LGB persons and 1 in 6 heterosexual men experience domestic violence in their lifetime. of course we can critique here their definition of domestic violence, but as a general guide, i would say this shows that domestic violence is not a gendered crime, and we shouldn't tolerate it in any relationship.
recognition of IPA is the first step, that doesn't necessarily mean the victim needs to recognise the situation, it could be anyone, family, friends even an acquaintance who points out their dysfunctional relationship. don't suffer in silence and don't allow others to suffer alone.
